So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I need more than 2 fuckable people this is an outrage
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
