the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Colombian exchange intern from my Mom's friend's ranch loves me, and is staying the night because we got each other drunk. Successful Christmas? I think yes.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
