also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
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