are you still at the devil's house?
Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I just told a kid I was in a wheelchair because Santa shot me due to me being on the naughty list. You should have seen this little bastards face
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I went to McDonald's this morning still half drunk with penises drawn all over my body, when my card was declined the cashier asked if I needed Jesus
I love it when strippers help me get other strippers numbers.
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
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