Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize
