Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
We got back together. The pastures weren't greener on the other side, the dicks were just smaller
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
he sent a dick pic to my best friends phone for me cause mine died lol pretty sure he was regretting that night outta town.
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
