..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
i don't like sucking hair
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
everytime he speaks i want to fuck him less. i just wanna tell him to shut up and take his pants off and we could both be happy.
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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