i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
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