There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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