She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
i can't believe i had my finger in that
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
raced the clock twice to day to see if i could get off before my computer died and before i left for my noon bar crawl... win, win
lets go back to having secrets in our friendship
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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