That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
If the cops knock on your door and ask if you saw anyone throw an orange out the window I was never there.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
