i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I just took the kind of shit that makes your eyes well up with tears as you feel it moving inside of you... So cleansing.
As your only female friend, I feel the need to inform you that texts like these are why she dumped you.
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
no real plans this weekend. trying to derail the alcohol induced fucking hell train I've been riding for the past three weeks.
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
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