I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
The stripper was waving you to the stage, not up on the stage. That's why you got choked out.
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
