ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
where does the pee come out of this thing
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Can't wait to bequeath this flannel to my grandchildren someday.
'I've been using this to pick up lesbians since before you were born!'
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
