i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Fire alarms went off at reception of gay wedding im at. We all had to evacuate until FD got here. Then...ill just text the photos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO INVENTED HANGOVERS WHERE ARE MY CLOTHES
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
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