He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
My last google search was "mavis beacon techs tping" Thank god google auto corrects bc otherwise i wouldn't know that i drunk-type 13 words a minute.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Is it weird I can only picture you in my heels naked?
Be proud; I'm a versatile boyfriend
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Forget Covid themed costumes. I need one that attracts a quality penis
preferably one with a six figure job and a boat
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