i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
Come find me, I'm the girl sitting alone in taco bell at 9 in the morning drinking concealed beer with a straw
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
