Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
there's paper in my vomit.
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
You know your life has gone downhill when someone has to preface your night with "don't get locked in a porta potty"
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
