Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Just shaved my crotch so I could call it the bald eagle. Happy 4th.
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Decided to stay in tonight. Completely sober. Just got two drunken booty calls within 5 minutes of each other. This is my life.
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize
