ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I'm not totally useless... You can use me as an example of what not to do
Its really hard to take a shit when the dog wont stop trying to crawl into your lap
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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