best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
I keep reminding myself that my vagina isn't a homeless shelter.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize
