This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
He was still there when I ran half naked into my suitemate's room where she was skyping her boyfriend and I started singing I JUST HAD SEEEEX
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
So much for no-infidelity-fridays....
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
