I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Just filled up my pledge keg goblet with coffee at bp. They can judge all they want. At least I'm not killing baby dolphins.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Randomize
