So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I walking on her passed out on her bed, clutching a burrito and the walking dead dvd on replay.
Another day, another engagement, another cat
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
There is a guy here calling himself the pants less weed fairy
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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