Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
i woke up with "only hugh can prevent florist friars" written up my arm ... i need to know what we did last night
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I need to buy fuckboy repellant for whenever I think it's a good idea to meet boys I found in tinder
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
His phone started ringing when we were pulled over and he said 'hold on, this is most likely more important than you', proceeded to answer it and agree to work sunday, then hung up, looked at the cop and told him to continue.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
