My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found puke in my bra..
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
I apologize for violently hooking up with her in front of you in the jacuzzi last night.
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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