Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
Just taught my suite how to queef. I feel like i'm back in 9th grade!
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
