Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
i just woke up to that girl in my doorway. I kid you not. Tan and lime green thong on. peeing on the carpet in the hallway. Then she collapsed. There is a load of towels in the wash. Just thought you should know when you wake up. Gross.
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
my mom just said "if you had sex with someone you don't really like I'm going to be so mad at you" HOW DOES EVERYBODY KNOW
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Well Jon got a DUI sleeping in the back seat so I thought the trunk was safer. BUT WHO CARES WHY JUSE PLEASE COME LET ME OUT!
Randomize
