so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
You're just mad that I don't wanna have dugout sex with you
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
Just puked in a cup. Poured it out the window.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
Randomize
