She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
Im on my period and I feel like I'm going to die. The only thing that can make this tolerable is for you to eat me out in the shower. Please. I'll do anything.
I got punched in the face by a Cowboy last night. Then he bought me a beer cause o convinced security not to kick him out the bar. Start of a fairytale love story? I think so.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
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