i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Dear god my vagina.
cinco de mayo stole my toenail
cinco de mayo stole my virginity.
Randomize
