dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I'm mopping my WALLS now. And talking to my mop. I literally just told it "yeah I kno that dirt doesn't wanna come off but were gonna get aren't we?" This is some good snow!!! mini maid needs to give it to their maids. The world would be spotless!!!!
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
