I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
And he just showed me his vera bradley wallet...
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
How do I put this... You're dating Ricky from Trailer Park Boys. Stop eye-fucking him and actually listen to what he says for once. He actually said "I self-learned that myself, basically" while rolling a joint. He's worse than your unskilled magician ex that accidentally cut off three of his own fingers
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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