the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I was trying to climb into what I thought was a bunk bed.. Turns out it was just a cabinet under the sink in a bathroom
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
