fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
Taking the airport shuttle drunk should not happen this often in my life.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize
