dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
she handed me her phone while she blew me and told me to text her bf that she was at the store
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Didn't pick classes because we were out all weekend...only open course is "alcohol and drug problems". Fucking ironic.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize