Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
It all started with a game of naked twister.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize
