I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I just found glitter from our Father's Day party on my balls this morning.
DAD WTF
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
