Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Just had sex in the basement of the library... I knew I was paying $120,000 for something more than a law degree
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
I just noped my wife on Tinder. Turns out I was the second one to find out that we both have it.
Def don't remember taking those pics I sent you...but it looks like I was in a car? Shit. Looks like my Uber passenger rating just went up exponentially.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
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