I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
I tried to find the bar, ended up at a car dealership. Then the alarms went off.
I'll be there with bells on. And by "bells" I mean "jäger bombs". And by "on" I mean "being poured down my gullet".
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
Randomize
