we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I can feel your judgement through the phone
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Randomize
