Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Tonight I plan on passing out fully clothed on the table. I don't know where normal people plan on sleeping.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Apparently I came into our room and told her that there should be a zipline from our window to Walgreens so that I could get chicken noodle soup
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
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