Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
