Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Between this new vagisil cleaner and these cranberry vitamins, my vagina feels like a new women.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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