imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
I mean two cocks this time. Trust me, I'm not gonna pull the same stunts as last time in this situation
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
he drank half a bottle of bushmills, stood up to pee over the side, pissed his pants, sat in the puddle on the deck, told me my life goals were stupid and impossible, and wouldn't leave until 5am. by the time I got up at 8 I had 4 texts and 2 fb messages from him. AND HE STILL THINKS IT WENT WELL
I have mastered the art of having sex on monkey bars.
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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