Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize