I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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