White coat. Heels.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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