Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
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