Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I could have mohawked her pubes.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
