Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
