she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
If you left your bike out in front, I just watched some dude steal it.
Randomize
