Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
Any man who can do squats while fucking you is a man worth keeping.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
