God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Randomize
