Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Randomize
