we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
He just kept petting my ear and informing me that I wasn't one of the guys
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Ive made peace with the fact that i will accomplish nothing except liver damage today
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
