The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
So I ate half a jar of mayo because I thought it would cure a hangover. I thought wrong.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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