yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
HahahahahaHAHAHAHAHAHAHA MY LIFE IS A CAUTIONARY TALE
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
