You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
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