The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Living in the dorms has served one purpose and one purpose only for me: to teach me that pooping in public bathrooms is okay and that I can do it
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
Her ass is the reason I still believe in a higher power
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
